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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Now, I must confess – I get a bit riled up when I see folks rushin’ through life here, missin' the tiny moments that really matter (ugh, fi–fast life, right?!). Sometimes, I stop myself, mutter “I’d rather be happy than another busy bee!” while I look at the old watchtower on Chemin des Âmes, standin’ proud like a quiet guardian of these memories.

Joanna Parrish murder: French killer taken to crime scene